The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
