i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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