Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I have fence marks all over my body
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
