kristin has been a bad kristin
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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