Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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