Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
