i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
