So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
