you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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