I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
