My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
