I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
