i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
