How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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