it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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