and you said cock pushups were impossible
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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