isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
