sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
