Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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