dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
