There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
