So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
