it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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