During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
