Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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