honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
