I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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