considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
