is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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