This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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