Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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