I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
