aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i think my cat just said my name.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
