just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
