Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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