my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
