The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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