i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
