Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize