My brain says no but my pants say off.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
