okay pat passed out under dana's car
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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