So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
