She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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