It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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