i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
