omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
