facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
