I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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