Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm bleeding and have questions
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize