I heard we made out
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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