I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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