Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
