capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
