Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
