dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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