So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just want to make out with him forever
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
