He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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