listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
