Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
