What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
