I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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