it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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