you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
