wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
