can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
