just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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