She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
