it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
