Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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