You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize