I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
