im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
