Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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