Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
