my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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