Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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