Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
