Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
